A Journey from Darkness to Light
"A Novel of Passion, Art, Love, Science, Spirituality, Nature, Meditation, Survival, and what’s beyond all that…"
Those humble pages and few words are not dedicated to the lands where the compass needle points, to the eras when the clock counts, and to the creatures who suffered on the surface of the Earth…
But, simply dedicated, to all who aspired for the reality and the truth behind such reality, to the victims who refused to lose, to the warriors who refused to yield, and to the Truth that refused to fall…
I dedicate this story to the whole world with all its races, struggles and differences. The story that is written for the readers who aim to maneuver all their available inputs for turning the wheels and putting on the lights…
When this book was written, it was written for the remaining parts of our prosperous Humanity which refused to collapse, for the survivors of this planet and the rulers of the next generations…
(I)Where Am I…!
(I)Where Am I…!
The sky was transparently clear revealing the floating objects in Space from between its endless darkness. The dispersed twinkles of the spherical stars were so bright through that magnanimous twilight. The moon artistically added a touch of matchless beauty to such a spectacular night. That young man sat on the shore, all alone, as his mind was loaded with all his thoughts, problems and memories. He came to that concealed place to rest from the rest of the world, to just enjoy those few moments of meditative thinking while listening to the wave sounds calling. Dangling his legs thoughtfully, he looked at the sky as a lost sailor, seeking his way back home hoping to have the chance of touching his own land once again. He was not severed from his land, on the contrary; he was walking on it, breathing its loamy air, and eating from the harvest of its blessed soil. He only looked around and wondered how things had been different! Awkwardly different, reaching the unbelievable and hiding behind the unnoticeable. It was different to the extent that scales failed to measure, minds failed to read, and hearts failed to touch… he thought.
He started collecting the few stones from underneath his feet. He threw them one by one, while watching the ripples caused by their attraction toward gravity forces. With each stone, he recalled a specific reminiscence and some good situations that were just flipping away from his life. He threw the biggest one among the rest, which was the last too. With its launch, he remembered his substantial loss. It was not money or fame, but something rather more profound; a living part of his flying spirit.
He nostalgically remembered being a child and innocently playing with his alike purity; his friends and cousins. Life was so simple those days, then when people grow up they say, “The world has become a very monstrous place to live in!” They claim that life had changed so much since they were young, but he deemed, “Maybe people are the ones who change, not life itself!”
His life slipped between the rays of the fast changing world that he witnessed. The changes were not only considered to be business-wise, but there were other aspects changing too; principles, regulations, thoughts, habits, fashion and desires too. Even nature was changing! Everything is changing on Earth, but the invisible rules have always been the same! People had to dramatically change to cope with those aspects of current changes that have become part of our nature. But, that continuous change made people start losing their main identity. Sometimes, he would think about the ones he knew and how fast the world changed their stability into fluidity. He was not against change, but it has been always about the direction of such change. Usually, he thought about the ones who were blindly affected by these transformations, and he was sure that there were some of them whom he didn’t even recognize anymore. It was not about the way one talked or the way one dressed, but about the core of the personality, which discriminates one person from another. Nowadays, people may appear the same as everyone, but to him, he still memorized the true shapes of their hearts. Disregarding all those changes, he believed that there was this unique small part inside them still remaining, still surviving and breathing, but they just forgot about it. The young man was dreadfully afraid, witnessing the uncontrollable change of his own core too, and his misrecognition among the rest. Being part of the Universe is not proved through defying its nature, he thought. He always coped with the positive changes around him, but would he be able to keep his identity? He thought, “Home… How far is it? Are they days or miles that are keeping us away?!”
He watched the stone, while distantly dwindling in his sight till it penetrated the sea level and was swallowed by its dusky darkness. He imagined the view of the stone sinking, till it reached its limit by hitting the sea bottom. He wondered, “If I dive into the sea now, will I be able to find this distinctive stone!”
He deeply sighed, while plodding, deciding not to be so pessimistic regarding life. “Everything is going just fine,” as he always comforted and braced his self. Not only was he thinking of his personal life but of others’ too; thinking how much he genuinely loved them and how much he wanted them to enjoy this rare moment with him, while forgetting about all their routines. But yet he knew that this would be difficult to happen because life is never that easy. He wished he wouldn’t be alone in that particular moment because of his affection to those close ones. He wanted them to share this seldom moment and this unique view with him. But sometimes one has to face veracity. He did. He knew that sometimes simple dreams like these could be so close to the heart, but so far from reality. Instead, he had some natural gifts earthed inside him, which vividly helped him so much. It was time for him to reveal such gifts, instead of watching them rotten and sink while pulling him down along with the nonreturnable.
While he remembered his beloved ones, he imagined them being with him, and pictured their faces smiling toward his. Even if in reality they actually weren’t there in that remarkable place but he just longed for sharing those rare meanings with their souls. He wanted to speak, and reveal his true feelings toward them but he had the jitters that they wouldn’t share with him the same strong approach. How tough he saw life, how complicated, and how simple he ventured it!
From time to time he used to ponder about the wonders life possess; the kind of wonders that we never notice yet for some reason they still exist. He thought about the wonders beyond the planets we only aspire, beyond the air we breathe, and beyond the life we live. From between the beauty of such mysteries there was one which glared more question marks upon the few anticipators. He thought about the forgotten meanings of pure love, which lost its track from between those obfuscating rays of life. He yearningly considered the compassionate idea as any soul is always searching for its inaccessible shelter. This was one of those days, where he was surrounded by unseen romance spinning around his tender heart. Life can be so cold, and hearts can be frozen, but for sure there is a source of fervent heat somewhere! He was wondering; when he would find a young lady, who could embolden him through his life, capture him before he too would freeze, protect his threatened identity, and help him so that their dream would come true. But then he told himself, “These are just dreams that I hope would come to life.”
With all this love loaded within his soul and being so alone with no one to bestow his special feelings upon… he was like a daedal guitarist, who walked the soughing shores without a Spanish guitar. People knew how talented he was, though he never played them a song.
He stood there, his body straight and solid as a mast, while erecting from such bemusements. The few minutes he spent ruminating in that place made him feel so free. He looked at the transparency of the dark Space, realizing that there were much more floating objects than the ones he was already observing. He knew that imagining the unseen ones would, surely, raise his intellectual awareness toward the concealed authenticity of reality. But, those graceful moments passed so fast, faster than the order the brain gives for an archer to let go of his arrow when finally deciding to strike…
He had to go and leave the beautiful scene, the beautiful dream. He had to go home for a trance sleep, because he had so many abridge chores the next day. He covered his body, feeling the smoothness of the blankets, and the tenderness of his limpidness. He asked God for peace as he closed his eyes trying to lock away his undefeated problems. Even after he slept, his mind couldn’t rest, recalling what happened to him every single day through his life.
Though some masts are old enough to be one of the antiques the sea carries or swallows, yet it still supports the deck, controls the ship, and above its towering apex, it guides the captain… It’s still a lively organ in the giant space of the sea.
The mind is like a door, a thought is like a guest,
It visits the mind for a while then it leaves,
Let the door open for the desired guests…
On the morrow, he woke up with an optimistic spirit, searching for clues in that sunny day. He anticipated it as he usually did hoping it would be better than the previous one. Problems of life and all the struggling make a person busy and maybe selfish, but this was not the case with that young man. He always propounded others’ feelings, knowing that hurting others could be a much dreadful deed than committing a sin. Living with such beliefs he always made sure to prefer others’ feelings than his own heart, while sometimes he couldn’t even find anyone to share his own entrapped feelings with. He didn’t know whom to trust, even the few ones he did; it was not his intention to hassle them. He wished he had someone to feel entirely secure with. Throughout his life, he always wished to meet her soon, imagining how her loveable eyes would look like… though eyes speak much about the past and future of a person.
He lived for a specific aim; he needed this love to help him go on with his journey, like a wooden stick which supports an old man along his distant walk, the one that carries all the memories along with his secrets. He wanted to share with her the hidden splendor of the world that others didn’t see, or didn’t want to see!
Through the wavy storms of life, he felt unaided, with nobody to share his precious feelings with. Some people consider a certain book as their "best friend", but he in that particular moment considered a blank piece of paper and a pen, as a sincere close pal. He sat all alone in his room, imagining how his adorable fairy would look like. “Why not!” he thought, “Why not dream awhile…?” Maybe when he would know about her, he would be able to sculpture his existence, to fit her hollowness; through making the right choices. So that when he would meet her in the future, he would be totally ready… for a thrilling adventure along with a desired companion, that’s how he defined life.
He envisaged every detail in her; from head to toe, from the color of her hair to the shape of her nails, and from the warmth of her blood to the luminosity of her spirit. He scrutinized the vagueness of her anonymous beauty. He started living what he saw, and pouring what he felt… all expressed in the simplest instruments; a sheet of paper, a pen, and just a few words…
I walked alone, looked around... I saw no crowd. I met her through the dark, in the narrow alley of my life. I heard her footsteps breaking the silence of my lost soul. I couldn’t see her, but I heard her mind speaking, and felt her heart touching my feelings. Her wisdom captured my attention. I anticipated the way she talked and how she sought perfection. I opened my understandings and enjoyed the moment. Then after all those magical feelings that I have been through, I saw her mortal body emerging from between the darkness... and I knew she was a piece of art, a gift from up above, a bliss from God, but who would have all that honor!
He took parcels of breath, while closing his eyes and living in that notable dream. “How could our imagination just slip us away from our problems!” he wondered thoughtfully, “Why does our imagination even exists!?”
He read his firstly unprecedented prose, and was astonished from his words. As if someone else wrote it rather than himself, but it just came straight from his spirit. He read it several times, repeated the words and heard their echo filling the cavity of his self. Then he put the manuscript in an envelope to vouchsafe it to the one he would fall in love with. He sealed the letter, promised not to open it again, and locked those words inside his lively pumping heart.
However, these days he was down, attacked by his own demons and started to feel dejection taking control. His imagination was gone—the most precious things are the hardest to keep—and he had to encounter the dark side of reality. He was passing through the unknown; a new phase of his life. Whereas life turned into a notorious monster brusquely hunting him down. All of that was because he started to think in a different yet singular way, discovering new riddles he had never noticed before. They were all things regarding the dense philosophy of life. They are the times when we get confused, and can’t differentiate between the storyteller and the story itself, between fiction and reality… His childhood days were over a long time ago, but would always be kept in his heart as an unrivaled souvenir. He had been suspended for years between those true memories and this bewildered life not knowing the details. Who he was in the eyes of the world, and who he was in his own eyes as well! Where he was living and where he was heading to?
He just lived a normal life, like the others around him did, but suddenly for an unknown reason, he realized that things should be different. It was a sudden wakeup call; the one that comes mainly once in a life time. At first, through his discovery voyage to the "real" world, he felt again as a child. Children are the fastest learners, and number one observers. This fresh knowledge brought back youth to his spirit. His griming eyes started to form a round shape once again! Like a traveler enjoying an oasis, like a queen seeing her home for the first time and touching the throne, like someone tasting love from first sight, and like a broken orphan finding her parents alive. They were the marvels of fiction which touched his existence, to make it a valuable one! But life is a blend of black and white. It consists of darkness and light. Things can never be the same, but only the prosperous message behind Humanity will always remain the same. After he finally started to wake up and comprehend a little bit more about life, his enemies started to find him, and thus the battle started. They were always there, watching him, hoping for his race to always stay lost and expanding its nap time to an ultimate one. They were the silent demons that gathered around him with endless anger. Their voices started to grow upon one another, while trying to cause deafness to his heart. They wanted to block him from the truth he started to discover. He became really sick and feeble. He dismally doddered around to his school with all this pain pulling him back. He thought about his extreme health which was on its way down, his bright face blotting dark, and his magnificent smile turning into a severe frown. Forlornness furled around the remaining light of his spirit dimming it with its outrageous shades. He felt like an innocent prisoner swathed by barbed metal chains, which were like a single noose, that unwittingly tightens the more one struggles for freedom. But at some point, surely it got to be torn! However, what are the odds for that to happen? Whenever he tried to release his limbs, more blood flooded from his living flesh. But he still dogged for his liberty, even though his strenuous muscles were semi-paralyzed. But the extraordinary secret behind his power was that he never gave up trying! He looked toward the sky and wondered about all that sorrow, “Why?” was always the repeated word inside his thoughts.
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